Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
