if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
