No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
