I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Is it because I queefed?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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