The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
