You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
