I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
