loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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