She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
