Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
