I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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