A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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