don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
