im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
