I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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