Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
