Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
