her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she peed on how many people?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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