who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
