Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
