Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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