is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
