you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
