Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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