please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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