Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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