I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I love having hate sex.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This is my gift to your gina
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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