Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
