We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
