Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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