Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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