so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
