Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
