Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think people are normalizing furries
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
