I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
