I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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