So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I wear drunk well.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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