So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
