We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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