Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
