I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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