she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize