She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
