please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
