Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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