some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
