Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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