brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
