Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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