She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
