I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
